: Parents - your views please..


alxx_b
09-04-2008, 01:23 PM
Not being a biological parent myself I obviously haven't been through the joys of looking after babies and small children, but it has surprised me lately how many people I've met with small children who let them make decisions and get away with murder.

For example: woman comes into shop and the first thing she says is 'I'll apologise now for any bad behaviour' as she tows in a little boy and girl, around 3-4 I guess.

I sell her a cartridge as she explains that little boy wants to go to Thai Restaurant and little girl wants to go to Pizza Express and she doesn't know what to do?? :confused:

Now I don't know about you, but unless these children are prodigies, have well paid jobs and are paying for the restaurant themselves, I would expect them to eat what they are given, where they are given it??

I told her to try Subway as it's cheaper and hopefully more likely to tolerate (poorly behaved) small children?

Do people honestly let their kids make their decisions and try to validate their own decisions to their toddlers? :confused:

ficknoster
09-04-2008, 01:26 PM
I was always TOLD where we were going, what we were having for tea etc.

Complain and you would suddenly become aware of the sound of a large fatherly hand swinging through the air shortly followed by a 'slap' sound and a strange pain on the side of your head.

Carbon
09-04-2008, 01:28 PM
Speaking as someone who had to get between 2 of his neighbours last night to stop a fight- some people at least do give their kids far too much freedom to do as they please.

The kids of neighbour A had broken a lamp in neighbour B's garden with a football and then laughed when he mentioned it followed by kicking the ball at his fence and breaking a fence panel. Neighbour A's wife appeared and shouted the odds at neighbour B about her kids could do what they wanted and then Neighbour A stormed across the road - I noticed and had to get between them. Neighbour A still insists "My kids can do what they fucking well like" :rolleyes:

**EDIT** And just to add the parental bit - if my daughter behaved like that then it wouldn't be my neighbour who needed to worry she'd be grounded for a month at least

Helabela
09-04-2008, 01:31 PM
I was always TOLD where we were going, what we were having for tea etc.

Complain and you would suddenly become aware of the sound of a large fatherly hand swinging through the air shortly followed by a 'slap' sound and a strange pain on the side of your head.

Yep that sounds about right!! (was my mum doing the slapping rather than me dad though!!)

Gal
09-04-2008, 01:34 PM
depends. As I only see mine weekends I like to treat him. Not too much as dont want him being spoilt. Also depends how much time/money i have.

alxx_b
09-04-2008, 01:34 PM
It's bad enough when they just don't care, but the people who you meet that don't even realise they should stand up to their kids frighten me.

A woman who owned stables my mother kept her horse at has a little 3 or 4 year old boy - she can't control him and neither can the father. The kids come so close to being killed by horses on the yard by running his plastic truck into their back legs so often I'd be amazed if he was still around by next year :rolleyes: but she just says 'ooh no, naughty boy, please don't do that'...

Mrs Rob B
09-04-2008, 01:36 PM
I know what I would do - slap their *rses and take them both home! It wouldn't be the 1st time! ;)

fingy
09-04-2008, 01:37 PM
i let my son chose where he wants to go and eat etc .. he alwany makes a good choice and eats veg etc as we taught him well from birth .. hes 5 . if he choses mc shitty i let him in get him fish fingers and orange juice and a toy .

at the moment he like to go to the pie and mash shop in the bullring or to yo sushi .. i aint complaining :lol:
rudy however when he gets older would prolly choose the chip shop every time .. hes a non veg eating baby .. he spits out carrots and peas etc and i can see us having problems with him . ill polly have to beat him into line when hes 3 or 4 ;)

swapped
09-04-2008, 01:40 PM
Even the youngest children are very good at working to the rules of the situation they are in - they will do what they are allowed to at home, and do what they are allowed to at school, and again at grandparents etc, and all of the rules will be different.

Grandad lets them eat and drink brightly-colured things in the living room at his house - at home, the drink will be milk or water; the snack dried fruit or some such, and nothing passes the threshold into the lounge that can't be wiped off with a tissue.

Similarly, little friends who come round know that they eat the same as everyone else at the table, and you can choose to leave what you want to, but it won't be replaced with anything else.

The clever approach is to limit their choices only to those that you offer.

Don't ask which restaurant they want to go to - ask if they would prefer the curry buffet at the indian, or chip-chop-fish-n-chips - and they only get their choice if they both agree!

They catch-on very quickly - they're almost human in many ways.

None of which helps you in your shop. You could always invest in a big tub of lollypops (the more sugary and toxic-looking the better), and tell them as they enter that good children get a lolly as they leave - and when the sugar hits them, they will be far away from your shop, creating hell in Subway or some restaurant.

Pilgrim
09-04-2008, 01:44 PM
I was always TOLD where we were going, what we were having for tea etc.

Complain and you would suddenly become aware of the sound of a large fatherly hand swinging through the air shortly followed by a 'slap' sound and a strange pain on the side of your head.

yup tho again in my case it was mum that did the slapping dad never laid a finger on me but mum slapped me silly :D but being a small child in the 60's the only time we EVER went out for lunch was during our yearly one weeks holiday the other 51 weeks it never happened.

My son, 28 months, is a bit young at the moment but we don't eat junk food so he's not experienced much of it yet, he went to a Mcshitty's with his cousins once and all he would eat were the chips and carrot sticks and he doesn't drink pop only water or milk and my bloody beer if I don't watch the mine sweeping little sod! :D

alxx_b
09-04-2008, 01:45 PM
They catch-on very quickly - they're almost human in many ways.

None of which helps you in your shop. You could always invest in a big tub of lollypops (the more sugary and toxic-looking the better), and tell them as they enter that good children get a lolly as they leave - and when the sugar hits them, they will be far away from your shop, creating hell in Subway or some restaurant.

:lol: :lol: @ almost human.

I don't have any trouble with kids myself, I've watched too much Dog Whisperer and Super Nanny to let them get away with anything!

Gal
09-04-2008, 01:47 PM
i let my son chose where he wants to go and eat etc .. he alwany makes a good choice and eats veg etc as we taught him well from birth .. hes 5 . if he choses mc shitty i let him in get him fish fingers and orange juice and a toy .

at the moment he like to go to the pie and mash shop in the bullring or to yo sushi .. i aint complaining :lol:
rudy however when he gets older would prolly choose the chip shop every time .. hes a non veg eating baby .. he spits out carrots and peas etc and i can see us having problems with him . ill polly have to beat him into line when hes 3 or 4 ;)

Mine likes Pie and mash too!

fingy
09-04-2008, 01:51 PM
yup tho again in my case it was mum that did the slapping dad never laid a finger on me but mum slapped me silly :D but being a small child in the 60's the only time we EVER went out for lunch was during our yearly one weeks holiday the other 51 weeks it never happened.

My son, 28 months, is a bit young at the moment but we don't eat junk food so he's not experienced much of it yet, he went to a Mcshitty's with his cousins once and all he would eat were the chips and carrot sticks and he doesn't drink pop only water or milk and my bloody beer if I don't watch the mine sweeping little sod! :D

my kids dont drink fizzy pop or slush puppys etc. only fruit juices and milk and water :)

toastmuncher
09-04-2008, 01:54 PM
My boy, 3 and a half, decided earlier he did not want lunch. when Id finished making my ace omelette I called him in from the garden and he THEN decided he was hungry. Made him wait for me to finish, then got him weetabix, he had toast for breakfast, If he promised to eat fruit for desert. A constant negotiation in the home is fine, but when your out you must be firm. They now when your likely to try to appease them, and kick the arse out of it accordingly, its the thin end of the wedge. A weak parent will have naughty brat sprogs, IMHO!

Never make hollow threats, Never allow the child to DICTATE ANYTHING. And reward good behaviour.

Pilgrim
09-04-2008, 01:55 PM
my kids dont drink fizzy pop or slush puppys etc. only fruit juices and milk and water :)

he don't like fruit juice??? squeezed a bag full of oranges for breakfast sunday morning, sieved all the bits out he took one sip and went "yuk!!" :lol: :rolleyes: drinks apple juice very occasionaly, I keep trying him with fruit juice but he's not interested, should I add vodka?? :D

fingy
09-04-2008, 01:57 PM
he don't like fruit juice??? squeezed a bag full of oranges for breakfast sunday morning, sieved all the bits out he took one sip and went "yuk!!" :lol: :rolleyes: drinks apple juice very occasionaly, I keep trying him with fruit juice but he's not interested, should I add vodka?? :D

lol try that adeas thing its like fruit soya ?? my son loves it also the pjs smoothies and those yogourt pouches are cool they get thier daily calcium intake ;)
applejuise is the most drank thing in our house

clarewizard1
09-04-2008, 01:58 PM
I hate it when you see parents who just dont have any control over there kids and let them run around and be little shits,

i have 3 girl all close in age and they wouldnt dream of playing up when we'r out, we take a vote if its a trip out for them but other wise they go where there tole and when there tole to go on up and get ready for bed i shockes me if we have people here and they go " but they did what you asked and didnt scream!!!"

start as you mean to go on and they know where they stand and so do you

Gal
09-04-2008, 02:00 PM
To be honest..who gives a fuck if they are paying? :incheek:

fingy
09-04-2008, 02:00 PM
this stuff
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v666/fingys/adez.jpg

dirty di
09-04-2008, 02:00 PM
having survived bringing up 2 children off my own (just) and countless others, all i can say is GOODLUCK :lol::lol:...... they will always push whatever bounderies we set them so its up to us set the goal posts, mine were never brats and have now turned into normal adults....just like me...........oh dear:lol::lol:

Crisis? What crisis?
09-04-2008, 02:06 PM
Look I'm only on while the wife's on the phone and I'm going out, but:

RAISING CHILDREN IS SIMPLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS WATCH THE DOG WHISPERER!

IS THE SAME AS TEACHING, YOU HAVE TO SAK YOURSELF WHO IS PACK LEADER.

BOTH THE TEACHER AND THE PARENT NEED TO BE PACK LEADER.

IF YOU ARE PACK LEADER, KIDS BEHAVE, MAKE PROGRESS AND YOU HAVE HARMONY.

IF NOT YOU HAVE A WORLD OF SHITE.

IT IS YOUR RESPONSABILITY TO BE PACK LEADER FOR THE GOOD OF THE CHILD.

RANT OVER

funstuie
09-04-2008, 02:06 PM
My son is too young (1 year old on Monday) to get a choice but he is clever enough to know how to manipulate us but I wont tolerate him not eating the food we make him. If he doesn't want it then he goes without so usually he will eat his breakfast fine but wont touch so when dinner comes round he is starving and eats everything. He only drinks water at the moment (or beer if he gets to the bottle before me - has happened twice now!!) but we have started him on milk as well.

As he is going to be any only child (unless there are any mistakes) we don't want him growing up to be a spoilt little brat so we have started now with him. Some of the woman in the mum and baby group my wife goes to let their children (average age 9 months) eat anything including sweets and crisps as "it keeps them quiet" how fucking lazy is that?

When I were a kid I got told where I was going, what I was eating I was never given a choice. As my dad used to say "when you are paying you can decide" and then I would get a slap round the ear for talking back.

A lot of parents these days are too namby pamby with their children. I know it sounds cruel but children need discipline and boundaries, they need their parents to teach them right and wrong and manners. A lot of people seem to have a skewed hippy attitude of "he will work it out himself" as their child smashed through the patio doors.

Our son gets all the love and attention he needs and he gets treats when we go out and when he has been good but no way will he ever dictate to me.

happybabe
09-04-2008, 02:07 PM
I can speak about my parenting skills as Mine makes none of the decisions as she is only 10 mths. I will say I intend her to make none until she is old enough to pay for them and I have drummed into her what she will decide on.

I was never able to make choices as a child, I was told where, when, what and how. I will continue with this family tradition as it did me little harm ;-)

Crisis? What crisis?
09-04-2008, 02:10 PM
Well said Funstuie:D

You will reap the benefits and your child will thank you in the long run.

(He may hate you briefly on occasions, but the world is not perfect!)

neatbeard
09-04-2008, 03:18 PM
..............
A lot of parents these days are too namby pamby with their children. I know it sounds cruel but children need discipline and boundaries, they need their parents to teach them right and wrong and manners. A lot of people seem to have a skewed hippy attitude of "he will work it out himself" as their child smashed through the patio doors.

Our son gets all the love and attention he needs and he gets treats when we go out and when he has been good but no way will he ever dictate to me.


I couldn't agree more!

I think thats the reason we have so many problems with older kids now. Our country is too PC and namby pampy, where its frowned upon to discipline you own kids!! AAAAhhhh don't get me started........ :mad:

My eldest is two and a half and the youngest is 11 months so he doesn't really count. But if our eldest steps out of line we make sure he knows about it! We are firm but fair and have a regular routine, it works for us (including him). We are always being complemented on how well behaved he is and what a lovely little chap he is, a credit to us, etc. He has boistrous (sp) moments and can be cheeky but is always well behaved when we're all out. He's growing into a great little person and he will know right from wrong and learn to respect other people and their property unlike so many others in this day and age... :(

We give him free reign to learn new things and to find his own way, and give him loads of love and attention. All kids will try their luck and push their parents buttons its all part of learning, and that includes being disciplined as well in my opinion.

Sorry gotta go and let him out of the cage for 5 mins. **joke!** :D

Dan Gleebitz
09-04-2008, 03:25 PM
Not being a biological parent myself I obviously haven't been through the joys of looking after babies and small children, but it has surprised me lately how many people I've met with small children who let them make decisions and get away with murder.

For example: woman comes into shop and the first thing she says is 'I'll apologise now for any bad behaviour' as she tows in a little boy and girl, around 3-4 I guess.

I sell her a cartridge as she explains that little boy wants to go to Thai Restaurant and little girl wants to go to Pizza Express and she doesn't know what to do?? :confused:

Now I don't know about you, but unless these children are prodigies, have well paid jobs and are paying for the restaurant themselves, I would expect them to eat what they are given, where they are given it??

I told her to try Subway as it's cheaper and hopefully more likely to tolerate (poorly behaved) small children?




Word

flat jeff
09-04-2008, 04:36 PM
I reckon its alright to let em roam about a bit?
long as they dont go chasin cars n stuff

but I'd want em to eat what I give em, an be thankful!
maybe av a little treadmill in the lounge to burn off some energy

stash
09-04-2008, 06:15 PM
My sister has a 2.5 year old - lydia- and her only problems occur because she still lives with my parents and Grandad lets Lydia get away with murder. She's pretty much a cool child but a conversation the other day went like this:
sis: eat your dinner
lydia: I dont want it
sis: eat it or you go on the naughty step
lydia: Well, I better go on the naughty step then
... and off she flounced! She's going to be a mare when she's 13!

raglansurf
09-04-2008, 06:45 PM
Complain and you would suddenly become aware of the sound of a large fatherly hand swinging through the air shortly followed by a 'slap' sound and a strange pain on the side of your head.

Ah, percussive education, it's the way forward :lol: