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any good jokes

671 Views 9 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  slim_adi
go on make us laugh :elvis:
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Two Hydrogen atoms walk into a bar
one says "Ithink I've lost an electron"
the other say's"are you sure"
first says "I'm positive" :incheek:
Right, well one day mummy balloon and daddy balloon were in bed, there's a right evil thunderstorm going on and baby balloon is scared.
So, baby balloon does what any little balloon will do and goes to try and get in bed with mummy and daddy balloon.
However, there's a problem - there's not enough room in the bed.

So - baby balloon comes up with an idea. It decides to let a liiiiittle bit of air out of mummy balloon.
No luck - still not enough room in bed.
So baby balloon tries again... and lets a liiiiiiiiiittle bit of air out of daddy balloon.
Same as before - still not enough room in bed... but it's getting there...
So, as a final try baby balloon lets a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit of air out of himself.
FANTASTIC! There's just enough room and baby balloon gets in bed with mummy balloon and daddy balloon. Snug as a bug in a rug. Baby balloon has a great night's sleep.

Next morning, baby balloon wakes up and sees that mummy and daddy balloon are nowhere to be seen. Baby balloon gets up and walks downstairs. Spotting its parents in the kitchen, baby balloon walks over to them but can't help noticing that daddy balloon is giving him serious evils.

"Daddy, what's wrong...?" asks baby balloon...
"Don't come that with me... you know exactly what you've done..." replies daddy balloon ...
"You've let me down, you've let your mum down, but most of all you've let yourself down..."

Hat... check... coat... check...
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Rev John Flapps sees a lady church member drunk in the pub.
he tries to lift her up to take her home, but falls on top of her.
the landlord says "ere - you cant do that in here"
the Rev says "you dont understand - i'm pastor flapps"
landlord says "well - if you're THAT far in you may as well finish"
ha ha ha hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nice one,keep em coming. :elvis:
why did the hedgehog cross the road?

to get the mars bar.....

d'ya get it?

nor did the hedgehog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road??

To see his flat-mate
What's the difference between a Weasel and a Stoat?

Ones Weaselly recognised and the other is Stotally different!
A slapper gets knocked down by a car, a copper is first on the scene.

He radios an ambulance and then tries to determine the victims injuries.

Are you ok love?

I banged me 'ed

Is you vision blurred?

I'm not sure

The copper holds up his hand infront of her eyes

How many fingers have i got up love?

She says , I think my eyesight has gone but worse than that, I'm paralysed from the waist down.
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3 couples die and go to heaven where they at met at the pearly gates by st peter

he looks at the first bloke and says "you cant come in because you have devoted every fibre of your being to cash to the extent that you married a woman called penny"

he looks at the second bloke and says "you cant come in because you have devoted every fibre of your being to alcohol to the extent that you married a woman called sherry"

the third bloke looks at his wife and says "come on fanny - we havent got a chance"
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