FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED

For those that are married ...a good laugh
For those that are about to get married .....perhaps a warning!!

>Marriage - Part I

>Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the

>wedding, he laid down the following rules:

>

>"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I

>don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on

>table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go

>hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old

>buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my
rules.

>Any comments?"

>

>His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that

>there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether
you're

>here or not."

>


>(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

>

>************************************

>

>Marriage (Part II)

>

>

>Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding


>anniversary!

>

>The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

>reads:

>"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

>

>"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

>reads:

>"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

>

>(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

>

>******************************

>

>Marriage (Part III)

>

>Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast

>table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed


>either," and storms out of the house.

>

>After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends

>and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the

>irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

>

>She says, "I was in bed."

>

>"In bed this early, doing what?"

>

>"Getting a second opinion!"

>