I am not the real Mat Roberts. My name is Ryan; I inherited the title from the previous Mat Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Mat Roberts either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Mat Roberts has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.
I was gutted when they re-painted the gents at Santa Pod this year, painting over the age-old "I'm Matt Roberts" that used to be written on the window ledge over the urinal, that made me laugh every time I saw it!
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