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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit.

At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay Her $200 for the deed. Jill is traveling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes on for 5 nights.

On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner. Jill is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him more attention. She goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he is from and he tells her Melbourne.
"So am I" she says.
"What suburb in Melbourne?"
"Glen Iris" he says.
"That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?"
"Cameo street" he says."
"This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?"
He says "Number 20" and she is astonished.
"You are not going to believe this" she says,
"I'm from number 22 and my parents still live there!"

"I know" he says "your father heard I was coming over here and gave me $1,000 to give to you!"

115 Posts
might as well get a joke thread going by adding this one

>> "A ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting in his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Welsh man "Can I talk to your dog?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doing all right."

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?"
(pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either.... I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Villager: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Villager: (in a panic) "The sheep's a f***ing liar!"
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