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I just noticed this in FHM;
The missus said she was amazed "how Eskimos can build igloos with their paws." I asked her what she thought Eskimos were and she replied, "Baby polar bears, silly."
Has anybody got any more?
Not just for the guys, I know us blokes can come out with stupid quotes.
 

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my mate jamie was on the way back from tenerife once and he was enjoying a complementry can of pepsi and the sun was beating through the window, he finnished his drink and crushed the can them slammed the shutter on the window down and julie said "DID YOU JUST THROW THAT OUT THE WINDOW" every body within 5-6 rows heard her shout at him. Proper dimlet :crazy: t bet she felt a right numpty
 

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a good few years ago i'd gone on hollybobs with the girls and left my (now ex) hubby at home. there was a newcastle match on and i'd phoned home to find out what time it kicked off so i could watch it abroad. he told me and i said 'ooh, you'll not have to phone me with the result'

a very confused o.h asked why he would need to do that if i was watching it to which i replied...'no, the time difference:you'll know the result an hour before me'

:eek:

true

em X
 

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fast-dub said:
also she poured out all the water in the kettle and then refilled it everytime she needed to boil it for a cup of tea
Apparently you're meant to do this if you're a proper tea 'officianado'. Fresh water has a lot higher oxygen content which helps the tea brew better. Apparently.

It was in a paper I read once - a bloke wrote in to say that his family had been out having pizza and the waitress asked his dad how many slices he wanted his pizza cut into. His dad said "Oh just four please - I couldn't eat eight" :D A belter!
 

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i was driving with my brothers ex girlfriend in the car. she was eating a tube of smarties when she asked me 'do smarties make you smart?'

my reply was 'obviously not Gem' :lol:

my sisters daughter was chatting to my little girl who was telling her she had fallen over at school and was taken to 1st aid as there was blood pouring out of her knee.

Tia asked 'if there was just a little bit of blood would you have gone to 2nd aid?'

:D
 

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Not a 'stupid' but more 'innocent' one, my four year old (now 7) said to me when I was getting cheese from the fridge "Is the cheeses in the fridge the same as the man talks about in church?"
classic :D
 

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Orby1 said:
Apparently you're meant to do this if you're a proper tea 'officianado'. Fresh water has a lot higher oxygen content which helps the tea brew better. Apparently.
i see your point but i dont think a woman who thinks beans are made from meat was using this kind of logic :D
 

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a lass i knew once asked what that noise was when you start your car.........errrr engine?

she should not be allowed to drive.....

she was once on wrong side of road flying towards an oncoming car .... and then realised what she was doing....after a few screams from passengers....and replyed with..."oh i often do that i forget im really driving".... :rolleyes:
 

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We went to some baptism (not my cuppa tea) and the vicar was saying something about 'Jesus Taught us..', my girl turnd to me and said, 'I didnt know Jesus had a Tortoise'. I just thought fuck me.
 

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mates wife was pregnant for the first time , i asked him if he wanted a boy or a girl ,,,,, his answer "i'll let her choose" :rolleyes:
 
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