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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How do you get your friend to eat if they're dead set on the fact not eating makes them feel better?

My pals going through a well bad patch and i dunno how to help :(
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Missbugbabe said:
How long has she not been eating for and why isn't she eating?
Well its a he, which is maybe why i'm finding it harder.

His wife just left him for someone else and he has 2 kids.

About a month of not eating hardly anything cant be good for a grown bloke :[
 

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2manyengines said:
Well its a he, which is maybe why i'm finding it harder.

His wife just left him for someone else and he has 2 kids.

About a month of not eating hardly anything cant be good for a grown bloke :[
I went throught a bad patch after breaking up with someone a few years ago and didin't eat more than an apple or a small bowl of cerial a day. It went on for a couple of weeks. Sometimes when you feel really shit, and especially in that situation, you feel so sick you just don't want to eat, food just isn't something you think about. Also I felt that I wasn't attractive enough and I was fat (which at the time I wasn't! But thats how a split makes you feel :( )He will eat eventually, I'm sure he's eating a little, probably not enough, but I doubt he'll turn anorexic (sp?) or anything.
 

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has he had counselling?
after my wife and me split I barely ate for weeks (mind you I carry a few extra pounds so it wasn't such an issue). My mum in her infanite wisdom and never ending concern insisted that my GP got me some counselling. I didn't do it for long but I guess it helped to talk to a complete stranger and I soon started eating again (and then regained my weight and some extra). time is a great healer but if things don't improve give a little nudge towards the GP.
best of luck
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Missbugbabe said:
I went throught a bad patch after breaking up with someone a few years ago and didin't eat more than an apple or a small bowl of cerial a day. It went on for a couple of weeks. Sometimes when you feel really shit, and especially in that situation, you feel so sick you just don't want to eat, food just isn't something you think about. Also I felt that I wasn't attractive enough and I was fat (which at the time I wasn't! But thats how a split makes you feel :( )He will eat eventually, I'm sure he's eating a little, probably not enough, but I doubt he'll turn anorexic (sp?) or anything.
Yeah i've been the same. I understand about the not eating because of the hurt, like you said you feel sick and simply dont think about food.

I'm worried because he does nights and falls asleep at the wheel.
He obv needs energy.

I feel bad for asking on here, but its just i don't know if i can do a thing to help :[
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
rustie bouquette said:
has he had counselling?
after my wife and me split I barely ate for weeks (mind you I carry a few extra pounds so it wasn't such an issue). My mum in her infanite wisdom and never ending concern insisted that my GP got me some counselling. I didn't do it for long but I guess it helped to talk to a complete stranger and I soon started eating again (and then regained my weight and some extra). time is a great healer but if things don't improve give a little nudge towards the GP.
best of luck
No he hasn't.
Did it help in the short term?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Iain_M said:
Don't force them it'll just make them more determined not to eat (I've been there so know) , unless it's really bad.

I take it (maybe wrongly) it more to do with other issues than food itself?

Talk to your pal and explain why they need to eat.
Yeah, its whats on his mind thats stopping him. Like how hes dealing with it i guess.

I've tried telling him to eat shreddies or rusks cos i've felt sick and had no appetite and that helped me, but it doesn't seem to for him.
 

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2manyengines said:
Yeah i've been the same. I understand about the not eating because of the hurt, like you said you feel sick and simply dont think about food.

I'm worried because he does nights and falls asleep at the wheel.
He obv needs energy.

I feel bad for asking on here, but its just i don't know if i can do a thing to help :[
:( Not good. That's tricky, I'm amazed he can concentrate at work without any energy, maybe letting him know that he's risking his job as well as his life, remind him that he still has his kids, and he has to hold it together for them if no one else.

As for counselling I know a lot of people that have benifited from it, personally I found it really annoying. I went to a counseller expecting to get advice and support, and all I got was a woman 'listening' to everything I said and asking me what I thought I sould do :rolleyes:

You could try cooking him his favorite food and see what happens?
 

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i get it with my depression or my anxiety its impossible to eat when your like tgat, just get something that is easy to eat and wont go cold and you can keep nibbling at like nuts or crisp butties and get loads of water down?
 

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I take it he drives a truck ?

I do too and have just started nights and I`m down to one meal a day . . .
It is very hard to eat during the night as your just not hungry .
I`ve found drinking water ( 2 liters a night ) seems to keep me alert and focused .

The other problem is you get to think too much when your on the road all night and start to dwell on things .
 

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2manyengines said:
No he hasn't.
Did it help in the short term?
looking back I'm sure it did. at the time I felt like a right pratt crying my eyes out in front of someone I'd never met and trying to explain why I thought things had gone wrong.....not easy for us men! ;)
If your friend hasn't eaten much for a while don't try and get him to eat a full meal....its just too much and he will feel bloated sick and uncomfortable. try and avoid starchy foods such as rice and pasta for the same reason. fresh fruit is ideal, give him a bowl of strawbs and a dollop of ice cream as a treat and see how he gets on. Even if counselling is not his thing his GP could prescribe him an appetite enhancer (such as complan).
 

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just be there.. make the diference he needs just by having people that care around.....

it will all sort itself out in the end...

chelle x
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thanks everyone for all the help :]

I'll take your advise and try to help him out.
I guess just being there helps, but its hard to watch someone deteriorate at the same time.
 

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Try giving him Complan - Complan you just mix it with milk and it's packed with vitamins and stuff. he might be able to drink that, even if he can't bring himself to eat at the moment. You can get it from Tesco or the food section of Boots.
 

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Sorry to hear that your friends not feeling so good. Is there any chance that you could get him away from his surroundings for an hour or so. Go for a walk in the park or the local nature reserve. A bit of distance from his problems may help, not somewhere he can be reminded of what troubles him. Also a bit of exercise may help his appetite and is supposed to be good for releasing endorphins and what daylight we have left is again supposed to be good for serotonin levels. Take a tennis ball or a frisbee in your bag and have a game of catch(your a girl so I know you'll have a bag suitable, if you have room try and pop in a couple of bananas and a couple of chocolate bars). Its always easier to look objectively on a situation if you are away your normal surroundings. His self esteem is probably in a very low spot so see if you can boost it by reminding him of some of his accomplishments, again aim them at him not at what worries him. He's your friend and you know a lot about him, reinforce why he's your friend(we all need a bit of an ego boost just for ourselves) By the way I think you look beautiful in your avatar, and I wish I had a good friend like you to help me with my problems(see what I mean?). If this is not possible, get him to help you change your wiper blades or some small job, nothing too hard. I always feel better when i've completed the even the smallest task. I hope this helps, of course counselling is a good idea, but most people are reluctant for various reasons. But I'm sure with your help he's got someone looking out for him.
 
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