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46,359 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't
do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an
anvil. He stopped by the feedstore/livestock dealer and picked up a couple
of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a
problem: how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who
told him she was lost.
She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane.
I would walk you home but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, Carry
the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in
your other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be
there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely
widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the
alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your
way with me?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two
chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against
the wall and do that?"
The little old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket,
put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens!

310 Posts
This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer and he picks out the perfect bike. While getting all the paperwork together, the dealer tells him about an old biker-trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains, and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.
A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She wants him to meet her parents so she asks him to come to dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents' house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table.
They have even wilder sex. No one says a word. He is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.
The father says "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes!"
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